I'm getting a divorce
Why I'm Getting a Divorce
I know, you think it's a no-brainer. My husband cheated on me twice (and probably more), so I'm giving him the boot. Cut and dried, right? Except that's not really the reason we're done.
Don't get me wrong, infidelity is certainly a reason for a marriage to end, but really, the cheating itself is just the manifestation of the bigger problem that caused it to happen. In my case, the key word was "respect", or should I say "lack thereof".
When I discovered my husband's second girlfriend, my mind was whirling. I have to honestly say that the end of my marriage was not what I was thinking about. I was thinking about what his behavior was doing to our kids, the long-term effects of his selfish choices, and the financial and emotional future of my children. I really wasn't thinking "how could he do this to me" because it was not really a surprise that he did.
And that brings me to my point. I knew my marriage was over not when I found evidence of his girlfriend, but when he emailed me (emailed me!) to tell me he wanted a divorce. I remember thinking "Isn't that just a perfect representation of our life together? I'm not even worth saying it to my face." He showed no respect for me then, and he hadn't for a very long time. Truthfully, he hadn't much ever. And I smiled and let it go by because it was easier to keep the peace than to stand up to him and say "No, you will not speak to me that way" or "We need to talk and you will show me the respect of discussing this with me instead of sulking like a child."
When all was said and done, I realized that I couldn't live that way anymore. Even if he dropped this girlfriend like a hot potato the way he did the first one, it wouldn't address the fundamental issue: when the going got tough, Peter took a vacation from his marriage and didn't really care much what the effects of that would do to me. Or his kids. I deserve more respect than that. I deserve it as his wife, as the girl he once called his best friend, and as a human being.
I guess I had to grow enough self-respect to make up for the lack of his.
Video: Why I Got a Divorce Pt 1
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